I had interacted with a lot of parents in my life. Every family has a different kind of approach to parenting. Some parents try to be as strict as possible with their children, some are too lax. Others think of it as a way to test out their theories on raising children and train their children at a young age to become somebody or behave in a certain way. Some are Spartan in nature. Others have the well-rounded family, the perfect family you read about. There are also some, who are a disaster waiting to happen and you wonder why it didn't strike yet, the way they were going.
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Earlier today, I was at the mall when a commotion perked the interest of me and my friends. A child, about six or seven or younger, was screaming at the top of her lungs. Tears streaming down her face as she cries that her mother is missing. Two high-schoolers were trying to calm her down to no avail while the security guard radios the paging system of the mall that a child is found and is currently at the custody information desk of the mall.
We went near the scene because we noticed that the high-schoolers trying to calm the child are students of ours. Good thing we did, because the lady at the information desk was not even trying to help them. She was just looking in. One of my companions pointed out that it is her responsibility to calm the child because she is an employee at the mall. When she touched the kid, the kid bolted out and I had to grab her and hold her down at the same time trying to calm her and reassure her that her mother is coming. She was fighting for all her worth trying to run away, anyway. But at least, she was not screaming anymore.
The moment the mother arrived, she spanked the kid and told her that she was stupid because she lost sight of her mother. She then dragged the kid away, without even acknowledging or thanking the people who found her child.
What really raised my hackles was that first, it was a child. At that age, a child is curious. So the tendency is that you will look from left to right, up and down, if there are interesting things in your environment. So she was scolded for being curious.
Second, if you are in a big place or a crowded place, you always hold the child's (friend's) hand so you will not get separated. Clearly, the mother does not know this because when she led the child away, she just told her to follow.
Third, I know the feeling of getting lost in a very big and crowded place at a young age. An unfamiliar one at that. To say that it scared the bejesus out of me is an understatement. But my mother has told me what to do in case the situation arises, not that she expected me to get lost but precaution is always good. The kid obviously was not oriented on this matter, because that scream was clearly for hopelessness.
Fourth, when a child is scared, you should calm her down. Never berate a child in public. The fear, shame, and humiliation it causes marks a kid forever.
I was so pissed, not because she forgot to thank anybody but because she scolded the kid in a crowd and blamed the kid for everything.
What the? Is the child a rational being who can think for herself? Was she raised to become independent? Is she of legal age, responsible for her actions?
The answer is clearly NO. If you bring a child to a trip, you are responsible for her. You should tell her what to do in certain situations. If you do not brief the child and bring her on a trip, then tie her down or rope her to you so you won't have to hold her hand. If you want independent kids, then train them how to act in public. Agree on meeting places, or agree on things the kid can do while on a trip with you.
Clearly, the mother was not aware of these methods or she was just not motherly in nature. Or she might also be panicking that she lost her child and so it was a defense mechanism that led to forgetfulness and attack on the emotional and mental state of the child.
Whatever the case was, the kid was found and reunited with her mother. She was certainly happy to be found. I hope the mother apologized to the kid or at least train her children what not to do in unfamiliar places, like not getting lost.
Just want to rant for a change.
Daghang salamat sa pagbasa!!!
I post an article once a week... :D
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