Sometimes...

Sometimes I wonder if I deserve such happiness...
Sometimes I think that luck was just on my side...
Sometimes I wonder why I am in this bliss..
Have I read my stars a-right?...

Tell me friend, is this path, meant?...
Why do I want to question, why am I left in doubt?
I sincerely find it true, but why I am sometimes blue..

Never mind now, the rant of this feeble -minded kid
who never seems to grow up, never seems to age...
It's the distant future that I have no fear...
The present danger that is near is very clear...

She needs to act now, she needs to decide...
Before all is lost and she is swept by the tide...
The end she can foresee but the means she can't fathom...

If the future depends on this...
and all the balance is at stake...
will she be able to confront the challenge it gives
and rise to the occasion..?...

Sometimes being able to go with the flow is not the answer...
Sometimes swimming against it gives a more fruitful conquest...

But the fear in my heart is so great...
Tell me now, Could I really do it?...

I know...
I know...
the best person to answer that is myself...

So, self?...
Could this girl do it?...
Will you help her?...

I hope the mystery I created will be unfolded soon...

Sometimes, soon is not SOON enough...

New Phone

Yes, after months of working and paying my debt. I finally paid it all off. Now, I am free to buy a new phone.

And here it is. BUMBLE BEE. Yeah.

To my old phone, I am not saying goodbye. I have my smart number for you…

Thanks for serving me well these past five years. Let’s keep the things that happened to me with you in tow, and through you a secret. I asked for a sign, and you being pickpocketed and returned is not so good a sign, but a sign was given. So earn your not-so-retirement benefit of being SMART…

UP VERSUS OTHERS

Somebody told me before, that being a UP student will be a liability someday. I have proven that to be true. SO TRUE.

As I said, I was a victim of theft. On January 13, 2012, I went back to the precinct to work on my not filing a case. The people there were not the ones that were there yesterday. But I asked anyway, what papers to process if I won’t file a case as I already signed the blotter report. They did not answer, instead they asked me how everything happened and other random stuff.

Flow of conversation that snapped my patience and triggered my anger: 

Maroon for me. Grey for the police officers.

 Diin ka gaskwela ta?

Sa UP, sir.

Leftist mga studyante da. Gaintra ka man sa mga garally2 sa may CAPITOL?

Wala sir. Indi man ko leftist.

Gaanu ka lang bi?

Gasulat, sir.

Anu nasulat mu?

Biskan noh lang da kung daw lala na gid.

Ngaa gale indi ka mafile case?

Kay wala man ko naanu kag mabalik lang man sa akon ang phone ko, ohkiey na man na sa akon. Kag isa pa sir, kahuluya man magfile kaso. Mau tani kung Samsung Galaxy Tab akon phone, 3220 man to kag guba na ang casing, kulang2 na pa gid lights. Ililisdan ko na gani 2, gahulat lang ko magsweldo. Hasol pa daun sa part ko, la pa daan di sa lapit c pa2 la ko ngayuan advice. La pa gid di ang abogado sang pamilya.

Wala ka gid salig sa criminal justice system sang Pilipinas ta? Kag tagaan ka namun abogadu eh, right mu man na. Nd gid pwede na nd family lawyer mag asikaso sang case mu aw? La ka man na gastusan. 100 lang na baydan mu. (Nd daw ko magastuan?)

My insides were screaming “Wala, kay kagamu sang justice sang Pilipinas subong. Proof si CORONA”. But I held my peace. Cge lang sir ah, wala man ko time mag asikaso daan, 9-6 akon office.

Somebody entered the investigation room, “Sir, napangita ka na, malakat na daw kamu sa salvo”. Some of the officers stood and left, particularly the one I am talking to.

Sa mind ko lang. “Wow, la pa nasabat akon ginkadto di na pamangkot, naglakat na sila. Sige, unaha niyo 2 ang salvo sa akon. Kit-anay lang ta sa blog ko.”. Aloud: Sir, anu asikasuhon ko na papers?

La man ta ah. And he left. Then the fat stupid police that was left in the room with me: Ngaa ang mga taga UP, grabe magreklamu sagay rally2 tapos kung magfile na gani kaso la man sila gafile.

Wala ko gani gaintra rally sir.

Biskan pa, la man gafile kaso.

Nakita mu man ang phone ko sir? Kung makita mu na, hambali ko liwat na magfile kaso (Dripping with sarcasm). I stood up and said. Mabalik lang ko sa Tuesday lunch sir, basin ara na di ang phone ko.

 January 17, 2012

I went back to the precinct and asked after my phone. It was not there and I was finally told to file an Affidavit of Disinterest to be filed at the Public Attorney’s Office (PAO) at the Hall of Justice. But first, I have to get a copy of my blotter report. I think I left that office in a huff and in anger. Let’s not get into the details as my anger resurfaces if I think about it. It starts with “oh, ara na di ang taga UP na nd magfile kaso” from the stupid fat police. I think you get the picture. I went to the other office to get a copy of my blotter report, but that office opens at 1:30. I couldn’t wait that long, I promised to myself to go back the next day. I decided to walk to calm down my anger. It helped a bit but not totally.

January 18, 2012

I went to the precinct early to get a copy of my blotter report. The report was not on the file, so I was told to go to the investigation room and hey the stupid fat police is there. And what ticked me off was another statement from him “Kung n d na sa taga UP, ihatag ko lang man sa iya ang phone niya. Kaso kay tga UP xa, the ipaagi tax a sa due process”. My calm and collected mood was completely ruined but I paid him no heed, I will be the one to lose if I give him what he wants. My parting comment was: “Natamad na ko magbalik2 di, tadlungon ko gid ni process”.

I went back to the other office. I paid to photocopy and authenticate the copies – a total of 106 pesos. No issues there. Before I left the police in-charge of blotter reports told me to speak with my case investigator. I gave thanks and left.

Lunch, I went to the PAO office to ask for an affidavit. A sign that says NO NOON BREAK was posted outside the door. I was calm, walked in, asked to see a lawyer for an affidavit, and waited for her to finish her lunch only to be told: “N d ko bal an ang dissension sa theft ga, balik lang karon mag 130 kay nag out pa si Atty. Santos. Lunch break pa subong. May break man kami.”. Wow, NO NOON BREAK gale ang sign nga nakabutang sa gwa.

After office hours, I went to the precinct to see my investigator. He told me after all that if I want my phone back, I’ll just have to take it from him on Monday night. I am not filing a case; the guy caught would be free to walk by then. When he saw me, he asked me why I was angry and fought with the guys at the investigation office. I smiled and said: “Nagpanting talinga ko sa linya nga tungod kay taga UP ko…”. He gave me my phone back and reminded me to be careful next time. His parting shot was: “Wala ka nasadyahan nga sa UP ka nagskwela aw? Nd ka proud?”. I just smiled, thanked him and left.

I wanted to do this the right way. MATUWID NA DAAN according to our president.  But who would want to suffer all that for the sake of the right way. Government offices serves the people, they should be more sensitive to the persons who came to them for help. They serve in the government to serve themselves and the people near them that much is true. It’s not a wonder these things never changed. JUSTICE is served only to those WHO could afford it. How many people are rich in this country? Even the statistics would show, there are only a few compared to those who suffers from NOTHINGNESS.

We talked a lot about the CORONA issue today, it is trending in Twitter, it is in TV, newspapers, blogs, Facebook statuses are related to it. But let’s ask ourselves, do we talk about the injustice that the normal people are suffering from? People who were victims of political killings, media killings, persons accused of dealing with drugs and others who are accused for the wrong reasons, do we talk about them? NO, we don’t. We do not even care. They are not related to us. Why should we care? We are not even affected to what is happening to them.

Now, I ask you: is CORONA related to you? If anything happens to him or his case, will you be affected? If you’re answer to both questions are NO, then what the hell are you doing, talking and caring about his case?

I am not saying that we should not pay attention to that case as it is a major issue in politics and is making a mark in history, what I am saying is we should also pay attention to other problems as JUSTICE is not the only problem of our society.

Agh, I am way off off topic. But I don’t care. I got my phone back. Being a UP alumnus was slapped into my face as a liability. I don’t care either. I put the past behind me and moved on. I don’t care if nobody reads this rant. I am no longer angry with the FAT, STUPID POLICE. I have ranted enough for him already. I have convinced myself that he was BITTER. He have taken the UPCAT test and failed. Or he was kicked out from UP. Whatever his reasons for hating people connected with UP, I don’t care no more. Thanks for reading, if indeed someone read this.

By the way my blotter report...

Cellphone Dilemma

January 12, 2012

Just another day at the office. Everything is same as always. No pressure. No pressure at all. At 6pm, me and mah buddy Pis finished our reports, clean up our office space, picked up our bags and left the office to walk to SM Delgado to meet up with her cousin.

Te Daph said when she saw us: "Aga pa kamu ba?".

I answered: "Boring sa opisina bi...".

Then we walk towards, Amigo Mall parking lot to get Pis' car and she would drop me on the corner near my boarding house.

But no, my day would not end on that boring note...

As the song said "Be careful what you wish for coz you might just get it..." and more.

We were walking towards the parking lot, I had my backpack worn the proper way which you all know is unusual for me unless I am travelling and it is full with stuff. I usually just sling it on one shoulder and walk like a gangsta which is cooler to look at than a full backpack on.

We were nearing the gate. I felt SOMEONE brushed on my bag. It's a rush hour, everybody feels the need to get home or get somewhere else. Something as someone bumping you from behind is as NORMAL as the sun rising every day. Normally, you would ignore it but, not that fateful day. My ANIMAL INSTINCT was screaming that it was not normal. As I followed them inside the gates of the parking lot, I saw a guy put something inside the plastic bag he was carrying. Instinctively, I checked my bag. The smaller pocket's zipper is open and as I rummaged into it, my phone is not there.

I said: "Shit, ginkuot akon phone". And I ran after the guy I saw put something on the plastic bag.

The parking lot's security guard ran after me. He asked: "Sin u da, ne?".

"Ang lalaki nga nakaputi manong, ang may dala plastic.", I shouted.

He screamed: "Kawatan na, punggi nio."

The pickpocketer ran bumping into people. He was finally nabbed on the other side of the street.

We were brought into the tanod outpost, and finally to the police precinct where we were both questioned. I signed the blotter report, left my phone with the investigator and promised to come back the next day not to file a case as it was a Nokia 3220 and so outmoded but to process the papers for not filing a case.

See phone

You might say how stupid of me not to file a case as clearly I am a victim. But let’s face it even if I send the guy to jail forever for my phone. How many more are there to take his place? We couldn’t even comprehend that.

The statistics may show that the Philippines is improving. The economy is better than ever. We have provided lots of jobs for Filipinos, we have alleviated lives. We have done this. We have done that. That is what the government says. But reality could not be calculated. No matter how much the graph would rise. We all know that lots of Filipinos are still suffering from the greatest threat there is: POVERTY.

This experience has taught me something. Not to place my important things on my backpack’s pocket when walking on the street.

NO… not that. That is already a given.

I have learned that NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE and NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO ESCAPE FROM THE PROBLEMS THE REST OF THE WORLD ARE FACING. Sadly, one way or another, they will find a way to break into the cocoon you have created and remind you that a PERFECT WORLD would never be a reality.