7 by 7 for our 7th

Yesterday as I was writing this post while in the playground with Ithlinne, I was actually finding it hard to find TRIALS within the relationship. So I just penned down the HAPPENINGS that most likely made changes in the relationship. 

Today is our 7th anniversary as a married couple. This year (and the last few) has given me things to think and feel about. 

In chronological order, here they are:

1. On our first anniversary, we decided to have a child. Nine months later, we had Ithlinne. The pregnancy and the birth itself were smooth sailing and we did not have many problems at all. Ithlinne as a baby was also not difficult. She did not get sick often pero kung maghilanat 40 gid yah. Generally a well-behaved child with just enough curiosity. She had a yaya by 1-year-old as she started walking at 11 months. And I was already traveling to the city for work, and indi mu na siya pwede ibutang lang sa kuna para maka work ka man. 
   
   
2. We lost  1.5 of our parents before Ithlinne's 3rd birthday. We only have your nanay now. For a while, I have been at a loss on what to do. I lost the people that I always confide in and rant on if the goings get too difficult for me and I need to vent. I sometimes feel that I put the little things into BIG things and no one is there to tell me it's OK. As your mode of asking yah is 'Sakto to haw?'.
   
   
3. In the last 2 years, I failed to finish my PhD. I am at the dissertation stage and am incapable of finishing my proposal for the defense. I have been procrastinating and being lazy really. Next semester will be my last semester for the PhD program timeline. I will not be graduating. I am manifesting incompetence and I hate that I am but I am failing to correct myself. 
   You have been applying for another graduate degree abroad since what you want is not being offered here in the Philippines. so far, you also suffered rejections and we are still waiting for the review of the other universities you have applied to.
   
   
4. This year, Ithlinne and I have been active in the Christian community and tried to attend the Saturday fellowship religiously. Next year, I am hopeful to re-introduce Ithlinne to church-going as part of the routine, as we put the COVID fear of being in crowds behind us. 
   
   
5. I also went back to teaching this year. After 2 years of hiatus spent on a year of comprehensive exams and a year of writing the concept paper for the dissertation. It was a juggle for a while since some are online classes and others are face-to-face so I have to travel again. But I think, the routine so far has been OK.
   
   
6. Last month, we agreed to give Ithlinne a sibling as she has agreed to it also. And is insisting on a  baby 'sister'. I hope by next year, she'll have that or a baby boy. We are not really picky.

   But as with the dissertation In God's perfect time, HE will surely say YES!
   
   
7. Last year, we knew that Ithlinne was not a normal child in comparison to her peers. We know that she has developmental delays. We sent her to school so she could learn how to socialize with other kids. We tried to minimize her screen time but failed for various reasons we gave ourselves. This week, a specialist confirmed what we already know. Our baby indeed has developmental delays, she is 2-3 years old, younger than the 5-year-old she really is. On top of this, she is in the autism spectrum disorder Level 1. We celebrated that at 2, she has mastered all her basics, and at 5 she can read and comprehend simple sentences, but these are actually signs of having the disorder. However, I think the most telling sign is working on puzzles way to advance for her age and insisting on doing it from left to right top to bottom manner.

So far, these are I think the most pressing and have been our guide posts in navigating this parenthood journey. And now, for the things that I am thankful for, I can list more than SEVEN, but let's stick with the plan.

I am THANKFUL FOR

1. Ithlinne, as she gave our parents a chance to become grandparents before they passed, and so Nanay has one spoiled 'apo'.
   
   
2. the MENTAL Capacity, to pursue graduate studies for both of us.
   
   
3. the Financial Stability, that we have been able to provide for ourselves and for our KIN in need.
   
   
4. Family and Friends, who despite our not 'being there' most of the time do not pressure us to check in on them all the time.
   
   
5. WORK, which gave us our finances but actually also allowed us to showcase our talents and skills.
   
   
6. waking up every day and hopefully being a blessing to the people who in one way or another need us to be at our BEST.
   
   
7. Lastly, I thank the Lord for giving YOU to ME even though 12 years ago, I felt that I did not really NEED anybody.
1. I am sorry for being flippant and for NOT being the EARS or the WIFE you hoped to have but still stick with.
2. Thank you for being faithful to the relationship and the vows that we have made.
3. Thank you for being my ears and my comfort when I need them the most, and for giving it without being asked.
4. Thank you for the understanding and the patience that allowed me to pursue whatever I wanted.
5. Thank you for being with me through my ups and downs, especially this year nga daw down gid most. I hope that I  have been there for you as well. 
6. Thank you for sticking up for me through my thick and thin, though I know ma insist ka gid sa thin and sa normal BMI all through the years. 
   
7. Thank you in advance for being my weight-watcher and my conscience in the hopefully healthy journey that we still have to go through in this lifetime.

Ithlinne and I are thankful for you. We love you and we hope we have shown you how much!

Daghang salamat sa pagbasa!!! 

I post an article to de-stress.. :D

My Husband, the MOST Exasperating Person in My Life

To my husband, the most frustrating person in the world.

A few weeks back, I was asked how will you introduce the person closest to you?

I answered, That person would be my husband and siya ang pinakasabad nga tawo sa kalibutan.
(The closest English translation is exasperating)

This, my friends, is the most apt description of him. And I will never introduce him in any other way.

On my birthday, he asked ngaa ginpakaslan mu ko?

And I answered Kay sabad kaw.

He tried to probe but I never changed my answer.

In retrospect, I might have been annoyed to be asked in such a direct manner.

For me, feelings, other than anger, are hard to express.

Whilst traveling to and from work today, I decided to pen this message as an apology.

------------------------------

More than a decade ago, I met a guy who was skinny and totally undecided on what he wanted to do with his life. He was moonlighting as a designer and seller for a pyramid scheme-based company. 

With this premise, I have been witness to the growth of a boy to a man who has dedicated years to honing his design skills to be on par with the best in the world and has landed the job to prove himself so. He has been lauded not just by bosses, but also by colleagues in the industry and has the merch to showcase it.

I've been with a guy who berates everyone for being disloyal to their words and deeds.

But is steadfast in his dedication to his family and is true to his responsibilities as a father.

He never shied away from being the stay-at-home Dad despite being busy with his job/s.

He made sure that he could provide for me to engage myself in a career that in this country does not really pay in terms of money but rather in the joy of educating young minds. He has made sure that our kid/s can actually have the future they want and need to survive in this harsh time.

I am married to a husband whose mistresses are, playing basketball, playing video games, or working. And I applaud him for being faithful to me and to our marriage despite being egged on by 'friends' to be otherwise.

When we got married, we promised to stay healthy. So if I forget, I have a reminder who makes sure that I get enough sleep, enough food, and exercise in my system. And well, I cannot really say NO since the gym in our house is not only for show. He uses it at most four times a week.

And I am thankful that though we still fight most of the time over the silliest things.

I made the good decision of choosing this guy who I know works hard every day for his goals and dreams and we are the lucky recipients of his efforts.

I chose someone who adores me and reminds me all the time how he thinks of me as the most beautiful person in his life too.

P.S. Indi niyo pagsugid kay TOTO mga sekreto niyo kay gina-MARITES niya na sa akon and unfortunately, I MARITES back.

Daghang salamat sa pagbasa!!! :D

Achievements

    A few weeks back, I was asked to submit a CV (Curriculum Vitae) for a guest lecture. The invitation was a surprise and I was actually a bit apprehensive since I felt that I was not qualified enough to be invited as a lecturer for faculty members of other colleges. However, through the supportive comments of colleagues and the organizer, I accepted the invitation to lecture on Statistics and tried to make it easy.

    Back to the CV, I prepared the usual Education, Career Experiences, and Interests. It was not much really, and a very short CV was submitted to the institution. 

    On the day of the talk, the head of their math department read the said CV in front of everyone to introduce me as the guest speaker, and I felt that I actually had enough achievements in life. Not as much as others but actually enough to qualify to be a speaker for forums.

    I actually had been a panelist and statistician for research works. I have been involved in the thesis and dissertation writing of other people, myself included. And I have been a teacher for a time, not too long but enough to know how to hold a class' attention.

    And the BEST part was being understood on what I was trying to put forward and being liked while doing it.

    So to the Western Institute of Technology, College of Arts and Sciences Faculty, and their guests, Thank You very much for the invitation to share Statistics for Research on your forum.

    This too was a milestone and an achievement for me.

Daghang salamat sa pagbasa!!! 

I post an article when I am de-stressing ... :D