Hi! It's me.
I am writing this post to gain a few laughs from you and hopefully a few tears since it has been a long time since you've shed a few of those.
Well, let's start.
It has been 10 years. And we have come a long way from that two just-out-of-college kids that dated each other a week before Valentines' so that they won't be alone on the Day of Love.
Who would have thought that the little dating experiment would actually lead to us being married? But hey, here we are about to celebrate Valentines' Day for the 10th time.
This 10-year relationship had survived trips, fights, so far married life, a baby, the death of 3 parents, and well the ongoing pandemic, of course.
We are in our early 30's and so far we have achieved almost all the things we've dreamed of when we started this relationship. And the things that we still want that are somehow beyond our grasp, we are slowly working on. But whether we achieve those or not, am just happy to say Thank You to you for making things possible for me. So let's review.
10 years ago. We started dating when I was fresh out of a relationship and you were still pursuing someone else. It might be seen as a betrayal but both of us do not really believe in the courtship process. Because, in the getting to know stage, everybody is on their best behavior. So you can not really see the ticks and quirks of people unless you are in a relationship. So that's why we just jumped on the dating wagon and hope that it will be a good ride. But we know that it wasn't. I am argumentative, and you actually do not want to lose. So most of the time, we have shouting matches, and we end up not speaking to each other for a few hours. This bad habit has stuck, and now our neighbors think that we are breaking up soon. Anyway, for us, it's just sort of therapeutic. After voicing out all the things we did not like, we chill. I spoke my mind, you spoke yours and now the argument is over. But I will be happy if we actually grow up and start discussing things like true adults without raising our voices. I am keeping my fingers crossed that that will happen sooner before the baby learned all our bad habits, and it is worrying because she has started eating milk powder after seeing me do it.
In a testament to this, I am not actually sure how many times Papa told me off for answering back when we have arguments during our vacations for Christmas. Or how many times PJ was asked what she does when we start arguing when she started living with us. But well, we cope where we can emotionally cope.
For the most part, this 10-year relationship has drawn out all our bad characteristics, and we are trying to 'fix' them. The fixing part is the grueling process because changing things one's self is really hard, especially if one believes that nothing is wrong with them :(. But one change at a time. Hopefully, in the next 10 years, we can have a little bit of progress.
10 years ago. Our common acquaintances were surprised that we know each other enough to be in a relationship. And gradually we have changed that. You became friends with my friends because that's how you do things. And well I know most of your friends enough to attach a face to a name. This pandemic sadly has limited our socialization with others except via Social Media which does not really work for me. You gained new friends and I am just really happy when people message me out-of-the-blue. And I am sorry, my friends, if you think I am neglecting all of you but I am a lazy person and I hope that the posts and updates I make on Facebook and Instagram are enough to let you know we are well. Nevertheless, me and Toto are just here in our little house and you can just drop in anytime with or without notice :D
10 years ago. I weighed 45 kgs and you weighed 48? I just know that we are both underweight based on our BMIs. We strive to become healthier together or at least hit our BMI frames for our respective heights. That's 50 for me and 60 for you. Remember that week, when we had the no-meat diet but wasn't really successful. I think we fold on the 3rd day. Or that Flat Pizza Craze that made you build that stone oven for, but otherwise we did not pursue. The No-Carbs Diet we argued the pros and cons on. The runs we did on weekends before Ithlinne came along. The gym set we bought, after computing and finding out that being a gym rat is actually more expensive in the long run compared to buying your own. Today, you still want to become the 'Golden One' and I simply refuse because Mister, giving you a massage these days is a workout in itself as those 'muscles' you gained are not really easy to navigate. Also, the challenge we gave each other before we got married, that we are not allowed to get 'fat' is paying off. As of January this year, we are in our BMI zones and hopefully, we keep it that way.
But I think the most important thing that made all our dreams a little bit closer is the financial freedom we've achieved. This was your cause and I was just a happy bystander whose only contribution was to send you links on how to start, proofread and edit your resumes, and support and cheer you up in the beginning when things were bleak and unsure.
10 years ago. We opened a joint bank account. We were actually unsure how will that turn out, but we did anyway. I have a list of all transactions of who deposited what and when. You know in case the relationship turned sour and we have to split our savings. It was not easy, we had parents to support, bills to pay, and ourselves to send to graduate school. We had to give up a lot of travel, and we withhold ourselves from buying anything unless necessary. But we did it, we saved enough money to actually buy a residential lot, and have a house constructed. Sadly, we zeroed our savings and did not have money left for a wedding. We got married anyway. Recently we were discussing this, and we were asking if we did have the money for it, would we have splurged too? Anyway, we started married life without any money. But at least, we did not have any debt and we do have a house. So small victories.
10 years ago, we both work in the IT industry though in different fields. You stuck with it, though you also had different 'bosses' through the years, while I have switched careers. I am still unsure if I am good at this teaching thing. I am working on that, and with the surge lately of students asking for advice on their research paper hopefully is a sign that they actually liked me when I was teaching them :D
With the onset of the pandemic, we have been dreading running out of work as everything grinds to a halt. 2020 is the year where we spent the least amount of money in the whole 10 years of having joint finances.
The good thing was, after a few months' delay, the university has opened its doors for online classes. I was all set. But you were unsure of how things will work out for you as competition for remote work has gone up. Nevertheless, as Papa always said, Success is a combination of preparation and opportunity. Opportunities for fully remote work of some big companies have opened, and though the competition was many, you were the one most prepared for it. And I congratulate you for landing a job in a good company. And I know that you want to work for Mark Zuckerberg one day, but even if you can't, I still believe that you are the best in whatever you hope to achieve.
And I will add this here.
10 years ago. You hated the office life of the employed, but hey look at you now, fully employed in one good company. But I think because it's from the house, it's slightly better for you :D
Anyhow, I am happy to share this lifetime with you and hopefully, you will agree without argument that Ithlinne needs to be fully independent by age 10. Thank you very much!
So 7 more years, yes! Though, if she is not by then, I will be the one to be blamed.
Anyhow, Happy Valentines Day!
~Jengator
